


Terrible Ideas

by starsandsupernovae



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Maria Hill, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, IW who?, Maria Hill has Issues, Martasha, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Red Room (Marvel), Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, blackhill - Freeform, that never happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:37:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsandsupernovae/pseuds/starsandsupernovae
Summary: Natasha and Maria are just friends. And unknown to the other, both wants more but Natasha never knows how to say it. Enter in some shadowy figures who seem to be attempting to resurrect the red room and the two of them must go back to Natasha's past-and possibly build a future.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Short chapter because this was originally intended to stand alone, but now i wanna continue, inspired by martasha-fics on tumblr.

Natasha wasn’t jealous of her cat. She knew this, of course, she did, being jealous of a cat would be ridiculous. But as she watched Liho curling up in Maria’s lap, green eyes looking over at her smugly, purring as Maria ran her fingers absentmindedly through her soft black fur, Natasha had to remind herself.

“Tough day?” she asked, curling up on the other side of the couch.

Maria shrugged.

“You know. None of them are particularly easy,” she said, hand still running over Liho as the cat purred.

“It was okay.”

It was a lie and they both knew it, Maria wouldn’t be here otherwise, sitting in her SHIELD suit still covered in some kind of rubble residue looking as though the day had taken years to pass. Natasha reached out softly, tracing a gash in the sleeve.

“Are you hurt?” she said, fingers dancing along the tear brushing the skin beneath.

“No. Not me.” Maria answered and again, the words she hadn’t said came out so much stronger. They sat for a moment in silence but it was the silence of two people who understood each other, who gained comfort just from the presence of the other.

Liho stood then, bored by the lack of action, or possibly lack of attention to herself, jumping off Maria’s lap and moving to the other side of the room, blinking bored before beginning to wash.

Maria’s hand moved aimlessly at the emptiness before she let it drop, and Natasha felt the change in the room as Maria’s fingers twitched, moving at nothing. She shifted position on the couch, curling against Maria instead and Maria lifted her arm, pulled Natasha so her head had replaced Liho in Maria’s lap, and gently pulled at the band restraining her hair. She stroked her fingers through, the dust clinging to Maria’s legs mingling with the deep red strands, and in the back of her mind, Natasha made a mental note to wash it thoroughly tonight. The rest of her mind was occupied with staring up at Maria’s face, at the woman she loved but could never explain it to. But their relationship was comfortable like this, where they could appear at each other’s places, hold each other when they needed it, and talk when no one else would possibly be able to understand. And Natasha didn’t want to risk that by admitting her feelings to Maria. There were too few people in the world she could trust, even fewer whom she considered a true friend. She wasn’t going to give up Maria over some feelings she knew Maria didn’t return. Because of course, she couldn’t. She was Maria Hill, deputy director of SHIELD. She was strong, and powerful, and beautiful, and could probably have anyone really. And Natasha was an ex Russian spy, known for her treachery and past sins. She was amazed that Maria was here at all, long dexterous fingers making their way through her hair as they sat.

There was a buzzing noise and the two of them reached at the same time, Natasha lifting Maria’s phone.

“It’s Fury,” Natasha said with reluctance, handing it over.

Maria took a moment before answering, taking the phone as though it weighed a ton.

“Hill,” she spoke in her classic deputy director voice and Natasha felt the change, Maria straightening, stiffening.

“Yes…….” Natasha couldn’t hear Fury on the other end, just Maria’s short, clipped answers.

“Ok. No, of course. 5 tomorrow. I’ll be back to the carrier tonight I’m staying there for now.”

Maria hung up the phone and Natasha sent her a questioning look.

“Just SHIELD stuff. Nothing important.”

Nothing unclassified the words lingered in the air for a moment before Natasha spoke.

“You’re staying on the carrier now?”

“Yeah,” Maria said, shrugging. “The food is terrible, and for an organization that’s supposed to have cutting-edge technology the shower pressure is shit but it’s a place to stay. I’m going to have to stay there another week at least before going home.”

“You could stay here,” Natasha spoke without thinking, clamping her mouth shut a moment afterward. But really, it wasn’t a terrible idea. She was close enough to the Triskelion, and Maria needed at least some time away from the rest of SHIELD. Natasha only had one bed but it wasn’t like they never shared before whenever they’d had to on missions. Or of course, she amended hastily in her mind, one of them could take the couch.

She could see Maria going through the same things in her mind.

“Thanks,” Maria said with a small smile that said everything else.

“Of course,” Natasha answered, getting up off the couch. “Come on. If you’re staying here, you’re going to have to help me cook.”

From the look of it, Maria had been busy all day and it was unlikely that she had taken the time to eat.

“I can’t cook.” Maria’s voice was lighter as she joined Natasha going to the kitchen.

“You liar. That hell hole we were stuck in, back in June?” Natasha said, calling up the memory. “You cooked just fine then.”

“I should never have gone on that mission with you. Now I’m exposed.” Maria said, already looking over at the crumpled paper Natasha was double checking with the ingredients for some kind of soup.

“Yeah, yeah.” Natasha pulled open the fridge withdrawing the necessary vegetables. “Peel those for me will you? We’ll get it on the stove and then you can clean yourself up with a proper shower while it cooks.”

Maria reached over to the right drawer automatically, pulling the peeler out and as Natasha looked over at her, she realized that Maria staying really wasn’t a terrible idea at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are the best motivation and I'd love if you'd leave one


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha is definitely not thinking about Maria. All day. When she should be training and filling out paperwork.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Chapter 2 at last, I know it has been a While, I do hope to update more regularly once finals are over and I really hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know, remember kudos and comments are the best of motivation! Special thanks to Mia @acastleintheair on tumblr for being the best beta/editor anyone could have

Natasha didn’t need to show Maria to the bathroom right across from the bedroom but she did anyway, the two of them walking down the immaculate hall, Liho padding after. Natasha always considered personalizing the place, but every time she thought of it the same thought came up- Why? Why should she attach permanence to a place where she lived when at any moment, it could all come crashing down and she’d have to run. Never get attached. She had been taught that the hard way many years ago and hadn’t deviated since. Never would after-

“No, you can’t come in with me,” Maria said to Liho, cutting through Natasha’s thoughts as Maria lifted the cat to stop her following, Liho protesting as Natasha took her batting at Natasha’s arms and vocalizing her displeasure, as Natasha brought her back to the kitchen. 

“You know you can’t go in when other people are there.” Natasha murmured to Liho, sitting down where she could keep an eye on the soup on the fire. 

“Honestly I don’t know why I keep you around, useless cat.” Natasha’s soft tone undercut the harshness of the words as she ran her fingers through Liho’s fur.  
She purred in response, as though she knew exactly why Natasha kept her, had taken her in after she kept hanging around after Natasha realized no one else would take care of her. And as though she knew that once Natasha decided to care for someone she would never let them go. It was a weakness, and she knew that, but absolute loyalty had been one of the only weaknesses that had been ingrained in her, so deeply she didn’t know if she could ever fully eradicate it. 

She heard the shower shut off and Maria appeared in the doorway, one of Natasha’s long towels wrapped around herself. Natasha stared for a moment at Maria, her wet hair out of its normal confining bun, falling past her bare shoulders, to the top of where the towel wrapped around her.

“Sorry, but do you still have- I mean I know you do, you were wearing my shirt last Wednesday.” 

Right. Natasha stood, getting up from the chair remembering that she did indeed have some of Maria’s clothing, a remnant of a mission the two of them had gone on together when they had had to get dressed quickly under two minutes to be out and gun ready. In moments like those, things like ownership of clothing didn’t seem to matter. Not much mattered, at times like that. They were urgent, rushed times, both of them grabbing for their clothing, for their guns, for their weapons, paying a lot more attention to the specificity of the latter rather than the former. And then, they’d end up with the wrong clothing, or perhaps since neither of them seemed to abstain from wearing them afterward, the right ones. Natasha was able to tell herself that Maria just had good taste, that she liked the feel of the clothing. And she was able to pretend that when she saw Maria wearing her clothing, the little thrill was only because it meant Maria didn’t mind Natasha wearing her clothes and was a sign of their friendship.

Although that didn’t explain why Maria noticed when she’d worn a shirt that was quite similar to many of her own. 

“Yeah, come.” Natasha resolutely kept her eyes away from Maria, from the water droplets still resting on her shoulder, running down her bare arms. She placed Liho on the floor letting her wander off before she led Maria to her to her room, and gestured to the wooden drawers against the side. It was just like everything else in the apartment, generic, nondescript. Nothing that would make anyone look twice. She excelled at that. Anyone could pass by a first look, it was only once people looked again that you were in trouble. People looked first, saw later. 

“Clothing in there. I’ll wait in the kitchen.” Natasha said, “Some of your stuff is in there, if not just take mine, it’s fine.”

“Thanks,” Maria answered with a smile, and Natasha’s heart stopped for a moment in true cliche fashion. Maria’s smiles were so few in the field and yet when it was just the two of them they showed up constantly, a light flickering on and it was only then Natasha realized how dark it had been before.

She left without answering, but she didn’t have to. She walked back to the kitchen where Liho awaited her. It seemed only moments before Maria reappeared, wearing her own shirt and a pair of Natasha’s leggings.

“Soup?” Maria asked coming to sit down in the seat opposite and Natasha poured it out. They ate in silence, the atmosphere somehow even more peaceful than when Natasha ate alone. Natasha reached for the empty bowls but Maria was faster, gathering them and beginning to wash them at the sink. 

“You don’t have to-” Natasha protested, standing up.

“I know,” Maria answered, shooting her a quick smile. 

Natasha glanced at the clock.

“You gotta be at SHIELD at 5 tomorrow right? That’s not a lot of time,” she said, moving to dry the dishes.

“It never is,” Maria answered, shrugging. “You coming in?”

“Yeah. I gotta finally fill out some reports.” She put the bowls away and the two of them started moving towards the bedroom. 

“Come on then, let’s get some sleep.” Maria opened the door to let both Natasha and Liho into the bedroom. Natasha changed quickly, turning away as she pulled on an old t-shirt she might have taken from Steve and a pair of shorts. The shirt fell halfway down her thigh, definitely one of Steve’s. She sat on the bed, next to Maria, and she felt a sudden rush of relief that it hadn’t needed to be a discussion over who would sleep where. Natasha flicked off the light, bathing the room in darkness apart from the thin strip of light seeping in under the door and the cracks of moonlight that crept in around the edges of the curtains. The light was important, she knew. None of them needed it. But when you’re accustomed to waking in middle of the night in dangerous circumstances, with people prepared to shoot you, when you’ve woken to pain beyond anything you’d ever thought you could feel, in places you had hoped, prayed to whoever might be hearing you’d never end up, when you’ve woken to that, it was important to have light to show you hadn’t again. For that one moment between sleep and waking, when anything was possible where you could be anywhere, it was important. 

Natasha’s sleep was blessedly quiet, empty of nightmares, and visions of the past, allowing her to wake fully rested, lingering for a moment in the silence of predawn, when grayness was just beginning to creep into the night sky. It lasted for a moment before she was suddenly hyper-aware of the other woman in the bed. Maria was pressed against her back now, an arm wrapped around her, pulling Natasha close to herself while she slept, as though she was something precious she’d need to keep close and protect. 

Maria woke with a yawn, withdrawing her arm and looking around to situate herself. 

“Morning.” She said, sleep heavy in her voice as she pushed herself up to face Natasha properly.

“Morning.” Natasha returned, glancing over at the clock. “Well, kind of anyway. You gotta be at the Triskellion at 5 right?”

Maria gave a half shrug

“5:30. But I should be there early.”

“Can I catch a ride with you? I’m coming today. Mostly for paperwork.” Natasha said, pulling a face that made it abundantly clear exactly how she felt about said paperwork. The downside of working for a more legitimate organization: always the paperwork. She had had that before of course in some forms, of basic reports of missions, given to either be discarded or filed away in extremely classified places. But that was nothing compared to the mounds she had every time she had to go on an op with SHIELD. 

“Sure,” Maria answered smiling as she pulled on a t-shirt. “And finally.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Natasha asked, returning the grin as she pulled on a pair of dark tight pants. 

“Nothing.” Maria smiled in answer leading the way to the kitchen where she grabbed two protein bars, tossing one to Natasha following behind her. “Just that you were supposed to have completed them, let’s see, two weeks ago?”

Natasha grabbed the bar out of the air.

“It’ll get done today, don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, I’m not the one who should be worried. May’s taking care of the paperwork again this week remember?”

So maybe Natasha should be worried. 

“It’ll definitely get done today.” 

The two of them walked in their comfortable silence downstairs and outside, into the morning, so early it was still quiet, people not waking quite yet, a slight chill wandering through the air waving at a few strands of Natasha’s hair. Maria led the way to her car, opening the door for Natasha before getting in the other side. 

 

They got to SHIELD in a lot shorter time then it should have taken to get there, but Maria tended to take speed limits as more of speed guidelines, especially with very few others on the road. They went in together, pausing in the lobby where they would separate.

“I’ll see you later?” Natasha asked, trying to keep the hopeful tone out of her voice. 

“Yeah.” Maria smiled, one last quick one before her Deputy Director Of Shield face came on. Natasha watched as Maria stalked off, walking swiftly towards the elevator bank on the other side of the building before Natasha went in the other direction. She walked into the office she had been given. It was only a moment before she saw Clint, dangling upside down from some sort of support from the ceiling, scrawling some kind of language on a clipboard.

“Hey, Clint.” Natasha actually went to a chair at the desk, but rather than sitting on it she perched on the edge, tips of her feet just off the seat as she reached out to grab the paperwork she should have done ages ago.

“Tasha!” Clint sounded genuinely happy to see her, whether for her company or because he couldn’t give in his papers until she had completed hers. He stared at her a moment before dropping his pen to the floor.

“Something’s wrong. No, not wrong. Different.”

Natasha merely gave him a raised eyebrow in question pulling at the papers in front of her while the night she and Maria had spent together replayed in her mind.

“You’re smiling,” Clint said, making no move to retrieve his fallen pen. “Did someone you dislike die?”

Natasha threw a new pen at him which he grabbed without looking, waiting for a response.

“No one’s dead,” she answered. 

“Well,” she amended, “no one you don’t already know about and should be writing at least somewhat legibly down there.” 

She gestured to the papers he was scribbling on and he shrugged.

“They always figure it out. Why else employ the best code breakers in the world?”

“I’m pretty sure they’re not employed to read your reports, Clint.”

He gave another shrug. 

“So if no one’s dead and I know we’re not being sent anywhere nice because we just got back and they’re not sending us out so soon, then why the happiness?”  
“Is there a problem with me being happy?” Natasha asked by way of avoiding the answer.

“Of course not. You happy is great. So I want to know how it’s achieved.” He gave her a grin marred somewhat by all the blood rapidly rushing to his face. 

“None of your business, Barton. Shouldn’t you not be holding your head upside down like that? It’s looking a bit red.” She pushed away the paper she had been filling and began logging into the computer to complete the digital portion. Why they hadn’t gone entirely digital yet was beyond her. While there were advantages to having hard copies of some things, for the routine op they had just been on there didn’t seem much point in having paper as well as digital record. 

As though reading her mind, Clint groaned, dropping the clipboard.

“I swear to god, no one even reads these anyway. Bobbi says she skips half of hers and as long as the proper thing is filled in the digital database, no one’s said a thing to her.”

Natasha grabbed at the topic and distraction.

“Does she? How is Bobbi now? I haven’t seen her since she got back from New Mexico.”

That distracted Clint enough as he went on about her, and how she was trying to get him on decaf coffee, decaf coffee can you believe it? Natasha could, quite easily, considering how much Clint drank but kept that to herself, choosing instead to power through the report she had to fill in. 

At last, she finished and shut it down, looking over at Clint who by now was half in the ceiling vent. 

“Come with me to the gym?” she asked.

“Nah, I still gotta finish this. I’ll stop by later if you’re there and feeling like getting your ass kicked.”

“In your dreams, Clint.” She grinned before leaving, down to the gym, full of agents sparring and training. She only had to walk meaningfully over to the space she wanted to occupy for the trainee to vacate, knowing her on sight. 

She walked into the simulation room, selecting the appropriate level and waiting for the LMDs to take their place and guises. Just for fun, she decided on a Captain America setting, knowing that at least, would pose a challenge. A small insidious voice spoke up from the back of her mind pointing out that besides, it was helpful to know to fight against your allies as well as with them if need be and she pushed it down, told herself that no, this was just what posed a challenge, she wasn’t doing it for that reason at all. 

Still, after she finished, having taken advantage of Steve’s weakne- no not Steve, the LMD’s weakness with the shield, using her widows bites on his legs and placing a shot there before finally getting him to stay down she couldn’t help the bitter taste it left. 

It was ridiculous she knew, and besides it wasn’t like it accurately reflected his power, taking down Cap would be a lot harder, (you have to train harder for that, the voice inserted) but she couldn’t help it. 

She left, face red, breathing hard, sweat trickling down from her hairline, where her hair was fighting to escape the hair tie she was using to pull it back. She looked a mess and knew it as she made her way to the showers.

After she had cleaned up she retrieved her phone to find there was yet more paperwork to fill in, and a report to redo, probably because Clint had messed up his part she mused as she decided it could wait till tomorrow. She was ready to go when she realized her car was still at home. She could always take a SHIELD car, they never kept proper track of them all anyway but it also caused another thought to take hold- was Maria staying here tonight?

She deliberated. She hadn’t noticed the time passing but it was late enough for Maria to leave, still early enough that she wouldn’t have. She made her way across the building to where Maria’s office was. It would be weird to stop in and ask if she wanted to stay over again, Natasha decided. But if she happened to run into her and asked, that would be better, right?

It took her three times walking down the hall to accidentally meet Maria.

Maria looked exhausted as she made her way back to her office. Natasha knew it wasn’t apparent to anyone else, that they didn’t see the tightness around Maria’s eyes, the way she held her shoulders that much stiffer like if she didn’t, they’d slump down, her lips that much thinner holding her face firm in a determined expression

“Hey” Natasha tried for a casual tone like she definitely hadn’t walked past the same coffee stain on the floor before them twice already before meeting her.  
“You leaving soon?”

“Yeah,” Maria answered. “Well, from here to the carrier anyway.”

“You could always come back with me,” Natasha said. That was a normal thing for friends to do right? Friends invited other friends over to stay.  
Maria paused for a moment, just long enough for Natasha’s heart to miss a beat, waiting for her answer.

“Thanks. I’d like that.” Maria answered, eyes softening for just a moment. 

“Just let me get a few things and we’ll go? If you’re ready to I mean”

“I am,” Natasha answered, giving the smallest of smiles.

And up in the vents, Clint gave a smile of his own as he connected the dots the two of them were too close to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, please let me know your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha doesn't miss Maria. Of course not. She's only been gone a single night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so sorry it's so late but I do hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think in the comments!

Until now Natasha hadn’t realized how little human contact she had been accustomed to. Not meeting people or talking to them, she did that most days, but actual human touch-that, she realized had been rare. Perhaps she would find someone willing and able to spar with her but even that was hard to find, those who were able to fight her were those who tended to keep busy putting their skills to use. Natasha wasn’t exactly a touchy feely person as her few friends could attest. It had never bothered her before.

But now, with Maria staying over most nights, she was aware of how much they touched, from the casual brush of their hands while they prepared dinner to waking up with Maria’s arms around her, holding her tight, something that from anyone else would have woken her as soon as she was touched and probably ended with the other pinned to the floor. It was almost surprisingly nice, and she had gotten used to it easily. Which is why now, when Maria was needed overnight, the silence in her apartment sounded strange, it felt too empty. 

“It’s not like that.” she told Liho who was curled up on her lap, perking up for a moment at her voice, staring at her judgmentally.

“No, really. I’m just used to having another person around. I don’t miss her. I literally saw her this morning.”

Liho continued to stare, unimpressed.

“No one misses a person who’s just a friend who’s gone for one night when they don’t even live here.” Natasha continued. 

Liho managed to convey an utter lack of belief combined with a complete lack of interest in a single noise.

“Yeah, okay, you useless feline.” Natasha dropped her to the floor where she stalked off, tail in the air in search of something more interesting.

Because she knew the truth was that she did miss Maria’s presence, no matter how much she tried to convince Liho and herself that she didn’t. She got up, intending to go to sleep, telling herself it had nothing to do with the fact that in the morning she’d see Maria again providing that one of them would be in the wrong place which the two of them seemed to be doing increasingly these days.

Natasha knew she was only around Maria’s office because she wanted to see her, and she wondered what brought Maria over to Natasha’s side of the building so often. Whatever it was she was thankful for it. 

She prepared for bed as any other night. But something was different. Missing. She lay down staring blindly at the ceiling, the cracks of light floating in between the curtains hardly enough to illuminate basic shapes, the moonlight obscured by heavy clouds, a dreary drizzle pattering at the window pane. She focused on it awhile, tried to let it flood her mind instead of letting it be the background noise to the thoughts she couldn’t force away.

Nights like this weren’t uncommon. Nights where sleep wouldn’t take her away and she had to lie alone with herself and all she had done, all she had become. It was a failure of sorts, a weakness to regret the past instead of planning for the future. But no matter how hard she tried, the past didn’t leave, and she couldn’t leave it. On nights like this, where the noise of the rain turned to Tchaikovsky in her mind, when the walls became mirrored, the room bright, the floor polished wood, when she could still hear the Madames in her mind teaching them to be beautiful, graceful and lethal, on these nights, the past came to her.

These nights had grown less frequent recently, and Natasha knew why, the warmth of Maria’s arms around her counteracted the cold of the unheated halls, her light breathing drowned out the voices of the Madames, her presence scared the ghosts away. But tonight she wasn’t here, and the ghosts had no fear of Natasha alone. She lay still, waiting for it to past, not wanting to remember, not wanting to return. 

At last she fell into an uneasy sleep, full of whispers and ice cold rooms, bleeding toes and gunshot wounds, beauty, grace, and the ugliness that went into creating it.   
Because that’s what it was, she mused in the misty realm between sleep and consciousness. Ugliness covered up. That’s what she was. Ugliness covered in a facade of beauty. Twisted black evil wrapped in a white silk leotard, dancing in snowy silk slippers. She wondered that no one had seen it yet but of course, the white covered so much, her facade of goodness. The mask that she wore, so white and strong but oh so delicate, and she just knew that if anyone got too close, if anyone so much as reached out and touched, it’d crumble away. And no one wanted what was underneath

She had been letting someone close though, someone had somehow slipped from the audience for whom she was constantly performing to backstage where she truly existed. But this new player could come no closer, no matter how much she craved her, for then the mask would fall. And then, who would be left? No, better like this, better with the performance, better with the mask, better with the distance. It was better. She repeated this like a mantra and had finally drifted off when the phone rang, the sharp noise interrupting the first real sleep she had been able to get. 

She woke immediately, sitting bolt upright and grabbing at it, looking at the name flashing on the screen.

“This better be good, Fury,” she answered, letting her displeasure at being called at 2:30 in the morning seep into her tone. Fury wouldn’t care of course, but she liked to let him know.

“Would I call you if it wasn’t serious?” barked the Director. His words were expected but his tone wasn’t, the underlying stress creeping in unfamiliar to her. “It’s Hill.”  
“Maria?” Natasha’s voice was calm, as her heart picked up pace. She was already getting out of bed, dressing and gathering up her weaponry, readying herself to fight.  
“She’s hurt.” Fury answered. “She said to let you know. She’s been stabbed by something probably not of Earth origin so we’re keeping her in medical here.”  
“I’m on my way,” Natasha answered, hanging up before Fury could reply. She was out the building barely a moment later, into the night, following the dim light of a street lamp cutting through the darkness to her car. 

She was driving on autopilot, trusting her body to drive to the triskelion while her mind buzzed with questions, one after the other. Was Maria gravely injured? Why had Fury called her? How had she gotten hurt? Why couldn’t she go to a standard hospital?  
At last she arrived, making her way into the building and to the medical wing faster then she would have thought possible. A nurse came up to her as she entered, reaching to tap her on the shoulder before thinking the better of it and withdrawing.

“Agent Romanoff?”

“Yes,” Natasha answered tersely, desperate for information.

“Agent Hill is down here.” The nurse said, gesturing down a hallway before leading Natasha down. They walked for a few minutes, Natasha asking questions the nurse would only respond to with 

“Agent Hill’s doctor will explain.” 

At last, they reached a door where the nurse stopped, taking out a key card and pressing it against the small panel on the wall. The door slid open and she gestured for Natasha to enter before turning and walking back the way they had come. 

Natasha walked in to see Maria propped up with pillows in a bed, IV dripping some sort of fluid into her arm. She was pale but awake and smiled as Natasha came in.

“Hey, Nat,” Maria said, as she tried to sit up further and winced with apparent pain.

“Maria,” Natasha answered pulling up a chair from the side of the room and sitting. “I got a call from Fury saying you were hurt.”

“Yeah. I’m fine now. Mostly.” Maria said, lifting the blanket to show her left leg which was heavily bandaged. Dark green streaks rose out from the bandage, twining around her leg, creeping up towards her torso and down towards her foot, deep ugly veins of poison. But even as Natasha looked they were fading, retreating back towards the wound. 

“We just thought I wouldn’t be. Couldn’t find an antidote, then we had to pull out some alien tech we’re not supposed to have and on some research, we weren’t supposed to have conducted. Fury probably called you before we realized we could cure me. He shouldn’t have woken you though, I’ll be completely fine. They’re letting me go in a few hours, so long as everything goes well.” Maria said, drawing the blanket back over herself. 

“Because when do things ever go wrong?” Natasha asked, but her sarcastic tone was undercut by her smile and the way the tension bled out of her, legs crossing and shoulders relaxing as she shifted into a more comfortable position.

“It’s fine, wasn’t getting much sleep anyway. And now you’ve got someone to drive you home when they let you go. Unless you’re planning to go straight to your office and work afterward.” Natasha said with a look indicating that the latter was the wrong option.

“I can’t actually,” Maria said. “I’m not supposed to be fine remember? I have to stay low profile while a cover story is fabricated for how I’m okay.” Maria suddenly looked uncomfortable, and Natasha tilted her head, a questioning look on her face. 

“The tech we had, the serum they were able to synthesize- there wasn’t a lot of it.” Maria started to say slowly. “But there were a lot of people hurt.”  
“And those people weren’t the vice director of SHIELD.” Natasha finished for her, understanding.

Maria nodded.

“And you took it. All of it.” There was no judgment in Natasha's voice as she spoke. 

“Yes.” Maria looked away from her as the word left her lips, but then her eyes swung up to meet Natasha’s again, owning the decision, even if it had not been fully hers, even if she had been half dead when the cure was administered. 

“And the others?” Natasha asked.

Maria shook her head.

Natasha nodded.

She understood. And they sat in silence, Natasha reaching out her hand to hold Maria’s offering her the comfort she couldn’t speak. There were so many things she could say, that it wasn’t Maria’s fault, that she didn’t hurt them, that she had had to take the cure, that it was experimental in the first place, that it wasn’t her fault it worked. But there was nothing, she knew, that would actually mean anything right now. So they sat in silence, Maria’s hand resting in Natasha’s as all of the unspoken words hung in the air. 

At last, Natasha broke the silence.

“You can stay with me if you like. While you’re waiting for SHIELD to announce your miraculous recovery.”

Maria’s grip on her hand relaxed a bit as her mouth turned up just a bit.

“Thanks,” she said.

And Natasha understood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So more action is coming soon, this is all set up so I do hope you stay with me and let me know what you think in the comments! I'm actually really enjoying how this story is working.


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